June 17, 2013

Dragons Say It Best

I haven't paid any attention to Father's Day for... well, ever. 

This year was my first experience honouring a Dad since I was young enough to press my paint covered hand to a folded sheet of paper and present it as a card. I have no Father, only Mother's Day.

This Father's Day was different. There is a father in my life now who has shown me what real fatherhood means: leading by example and being a child's moral compass. Spending quality time putting a car set together on the floor or teaching a five year old the proper batting stance. Hugging his son often and without reserve. And then laughing over some silly boyish fart joke afterwards.

L~ and I went shopping on Saturday for the perfect Father's Day gift. It was a lovely blue button-down shirt that L~ picked out himself at the Big and Tall store, along with a card that was just perfect because of the Daddy Dinosaur on the front. It was a wonder to watch his little five-year old self peering seriously at each shirt while deciding which one Daddy would like best, or which card satisfied his own childish impulses. 

Father's Day found Mr. Right working during the day, but L~ and I did our best to make his homecoming as wonderful as possible. Wrapped gift on the table... a card both L~ and I signed, covered in childish artwork with a little personal note from me. Steak and mashed potatoes for dinner. Lots of hugs and kisses and fun games. It was a wonderful day.

A day that I made special for the man that I love... and his child with another woman. There's a bitter sweetness to that for me, not so bitter that it ruined my first real experience with the occasion... but enough that I felt the little twinges from it throughout the weekend. Impatience and anticipation for the day that I make a special occasion for the man who has fathered children with me. My babies' Daddy. This past Sunday was special, and full of love.

But some day, I know, Father's Day will be MAGICAL. 

{so I've been feeling awful this past week. Exhausted. Constipated. Exhausted. Nauseous. So. Freaking. Tired. Sorebacksorebacksoreboobies and even a leetle bit of strange pelvic cramping. I'm probably fighting the flu or it might just be stress... But I'll know either way in about 6 days. I keep telling myself it's nothing, don't think about it. I'm doing pretty good... For now.}

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