August 30, 2013

14 Weeks & 4 Days: Pregnancy SUCKS

I'm not a complainer by nature. I was raised to suck it up and go; one of my Mom's favourite phrases when we hurt ourselves as kids was to "walk it off". And self-pity was never tolerated. Period.

Pregnancy has broken me. Straight up. It's turned me into a vomiting machine from the moment I wake to - well, the moment I wake. And then there's the added suckage of having Type 1 Diabetes and being pregnant. So beyond one paragraph that a future post is to follow. Just trust me when I say that pregnancy is hard... and pregnancy with Type 1 Diabetes is a bazillion times harder. And scarier. 

I was hospitalized, and then I was laid off (and that's all I can say about that). It's been a very rough couple of months. I'm finally going to be a Mommy and that is mind-blowing and life-changing and freaking AWESOME! But gawd, I hate being pregnant.

Until I see this:

Hello World!
Hello, beautiful! He's insanely active; the aforementioned Type 1 has had one benefit: we've already had 6 ultrasounds. Every time we see him on the screen he's bouncing around with a ton of energy, stubbornly refusing to hold still for measurements and quality Kodak moments. Of all the u/s photos we have - and we have a lot! - this one is as good as it gets, thanks to a tech who had a unique ability to hit the button in the split second that he was between bounces. Waving at us. At least I like to think that's what he was doing.

{We aren't going to find out the sex before he's born... I just have this feeling that it's a boy.} 

So while I acknowledge every day how blessed I am, how lucky, how incredibly wonderful this little miracle is... I am also not ashamed to admit that pregnancy is freaking hard. I'm not glowing, unless you look at me in the right light and perhaps see a resemblance to a spotlit Kermit. A smelly, bloated, top-heavy, constantly puking frog who cries over African documentaries and loses her shit at annoying strangers. That's me, + pregnancy. 

I can't fucking Wait until it's over.

And I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

Thank gawd this pregnancy thing is temporary.

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